That Earl, Suicidal
by lolzy33
Summary: The pain and suffering of the last few years has caught up to young Earl Phantomhive, and he wants out.


**Characters: Ciel, Sebastian**

**Genre: Horror, tragedy, drama**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroshitsuji. **

**A/N More OOCness, yay? But I guess you've all learned to expect that by now, especially from me, huh. XD **

**Other: Warning for gore. Well, sort of. You can barely call it gore, but it's gorier than anything I've ever written. Which doesn't really mean anything. :D **

**Other Other: I had intended to put this into the Kuroshitsuji Shorts thingy, but I've decided that if it's over 1,000 words or near that amount that I should release it as a one-shot. :P**

* * *

The knife, crude and bloody.

The fall, short and bone-breaking.

The poision, swift and deceivingly sweet.

Suicide. Suicide was on Earl Ciel Phantomhive's mind.

Ciel had always prided himself on being strong and for having survived this long, but honestly, how much could one human take? Lizzie, the one fond part of his past still intact that he had always endeavored to protect, had succumbed at last to a fatal illness. Ciel had done everything in his power to delay Elizabeth's passing, but there's just no way to stop an incurable disease. Again, someone he cared about had been stolen away from him. Ciel had been struggling to maintain his slowly but steadily declining psyche over the past few months. Scared to face the fact that the loss of yet another loved one had caused him to lose sight of his goal, he continued to desperately claw at that spider's thread, but to no avail.

The boy was startled from his thoughts with the sudden prick of the finger. Ciel looked down to see ruby red blood lazily making its way around the cold tip of the knife pressed against his soft skin. Tempting thoughts of running himself through with the weapon attracted his fragile state of mind of their own accord. Disgusted with himself, he quickly dropped the knife, rushing quietly to get a damp cloth to stem the flow of blood in the hopes of keeping this little moment of weakness a secret.

His quest for revenge (even though he kept denying that it was out of revenge) kept getting pushed to the back of his mind as he lost his will to live over such a short span of time. Sebastian tried everything to coax Ciel out of this depression, but nothing worked. All the butler could do was watch and wait. An unspoken agreement of silence fell upon the household. All visitors were turned away, the letters stacking up but the servants too afraid to face the wrath of their dejected master. Only Sebastian was allowed to see Ciel now, ensuring that his master at least stayed in good physical condition.

Sebastian filled up a tray with various confections and Earl Gray tea, heading upstairs in the hopes of appealing to his master's love of the familiar drink and sweets. "Young master, you need to eat and drink to keep up your strength," Sebastian said as he entered the room.

"Alright…" Ciel sighed, reaching for a pastry and halfheartedly nibbling on it to get the watchful butler to leave him alone. "I'm going to retire early tonight." He waved the tea away. "Good night," he said, smiling sadly. Sebastian shook his head with disapproval and left the tea on the nightstand incase Ciel was thirsty later. The tall butler left, hoping that with a good night's rest Ciel would feel better in the morning.

Ciel laid his head against the pillow, the hard barrel of a gun and the steel blade of a dagger poking up from underneath. The weapons that he had always used to protect himself as a last resort would now serve a new purpose: setting their master free and giving him the final release. Ciel slipped the gun out from underneath the pillowcase, weighing the object in his hand, feeling along every coldly rigid curve. _These tools will do just fine. _He raised the gun to his head, his finger tightening on the trigger.

Sebastian was making his daily rounds around the mansion, checking to make sure everything was in its place. He was worried for his master, and honestly growing a bit impatient. Ciel hadn't made a move in months. He knew that these things take time, but the possibility that he would have to wait around until the young boy was on his deathbed was growing stronger and stronger every day. Not even Madam Red's death had shaken Ciel to this extent. Two seemingly commonplace words suddenly struck him like a hot brand, imprinting the words in his mind. _"Good night." He's never said good night to me before…_ Sebastian's eyes widened with sudden realization. "Master!" He cried, running to his master's bedroom and throwing the door open.

Ciel pulled the trigger.

The bullet never found its intended target.

Sebastian had caught it in midair.

"Don't you dare try to stop me, Sebastian." Before Sebastian could register these words, Ciel had plunged the dagger into his chest. Sebastian quickly wrestled the dagger away, gripping the handle and ripping it out, tearing flesh around the gaping hole as he pulled, the jagged tip just stopping short of piercing Ciel's still beating heart. Frightened, Ciel could see through his hazy eyes that the expression on Sebastian's face had changed from concern to outrage. Ciel had seen Sebastian angry before, but never _at_ him. "Well don't just stand there, Sebastian. Help me," he rasped, shivering under his butler's intense gaze. He coughed up drops of thick blood so dark it was almost black. He figured that if the butler could get himself into this mess by not having let him go through with the suicide, then he could also clean up said mess.

"Trying to break our little contract?" Sebastian sweetly inquired. The polite, loyal butler was gone, replaced with this grim demon. "I'm so disappointed," he cooed. He raised the dagger slippery with blood and stabbed Ciel's hand, pinning him to the bed.

Ciel felt too exposed. Caught in a weak moment, and now this? His soul, exposed; his fresh wound, stretching painfully thanks to the uncomfortable position he was in, exposed. "You of all people…You promised you'd never betray me!" Ciel bit off his cries of pain, crimson blood against snow white skin trickling from his mouth where he had clamped down on his tongue too hard. Pain mixed with tears, blood, and sweat clouded his vision. The dim room hid Sebastian's true form; the only things visible were the flash of irate eyes and white teeth and fangs against ghostly grey skin.

"No. It is you who has betrayed me, not I. And I honestly thought you were different. Filthy human." Sebastian spat, injecting Ciel with poisonous venom with every word he uttered. He lifted Ciel effortlessly, the dagger going through Ciel's hand as the demon crushed every single bone in the boy's arms. Pure delight glittered in the demon's sinister eyes, ecstatic joy evident on his once beautiful face as the sickening crunch of the breaking bones muffled Ciel's shrieks.

Ciel stared horrified at his now useless limbs dangling from his body. It was a sick miracle that he hadn't fainted yet. "S-stop…" He whispered hoarsely.

"Now why would I do that when we're having so much fun, _young master?_" Sebastian sneered cruelly, cupping Ciel's face in his hand as he forced the boy to look him in the eye.

"Because…because," Ciel desperately wracked his addled brain for a good reason, "because I love you!" He blurted, knowing that that was just about the most senseless thing he could have ever said.

This caused Sebastian to pause briefly. "I think we both know that love, especially this falsehood that you just came up with out of sheer desperation, isn't a part of either of our lives," he responded casually, as if he had all the time in the world. "I no longer find this conversation amusing. Any last words?"

"What are you going to d-do to me?" Ciel panted, his breathing shallow from the severe loss of blood.

"I think we both know the answer to that." Sebastian smiled sadistically, no mercy in his icy gaze. In one blow he broke Ciel's jawbone, cutting off any coherent response the boy could have given. Ciel shook his head and whimpered, his jaw hanging slack. Sebastian laughed, a flat, practiced, heartless laugh greatly lacking in any mirth. "Farewell, young master." Scarlet eyes flashed.

Ciel screamed.

Sebastian stepped over the mangled body of his former master and out into the night, the blood on the nearly unrecognizable corpse shining in the moonlight. The demon cleaned the blood from his fingertips, cleansing himself of this seemingly ancient atmosphere. "Damn brat," he muttered.

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**A/N …That was more horrible than I had anticipated it to turn out. XD My first attempt at horror and gore; how did I do? :3**


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